Buckle Up & Hold on Tight

4 06 2014

Ready for the roller coaster ride readers, its been worse than the worst ride at the worst theme park ever (and I hate theme parks and rides at the best of times)!

We got to Germany to begin Alistair’s treatment at the clinic. A strange feeling of utter relief that other people were now holding the reins and taking the strain and being in an environment that supported our holistic values, but mixed with sheer horror at the reality of the situation we were in and the ravaged sick souls that were around us.

Most of the people in the clinic (from elderly all the way down to about 9 years old) had been through the staple triangle of the Western treatment model, you know it so well from my ramblings by now, but lest you forget, its the holy triune of Chemo, Radiation and Surgery. Some had been brought to their knees by the treatment, some had gone just a few rounds and got off that particular merry go round, no longer willing to believe it is the only way.

But the point is this… these people are still sick. And this is because what the medical model has to offer quite frankly is brutal , out of date and near to useless except for a couple of particular cancers that do respond to chemo. But, believe me, it is kept rigidly in place by the powers that be because A; they have nothing else to offer and B; its a cash cow.

And right now I feel I have every right to express this view because Alistair is being directly effected by this appalling situation. And you know what, the whole damn lot involved in the biggest scam in health treatment are going to be hoisted by their own petards.Simply put there will never be a Western cure for cancer because its big business. In all the years that they have been looking for a cure and pumping billions into their evidence based research, a cure is still no nearer and more and more people are getting sick. Cancer now affects 1:2 men and 1:3 women. Some 100 years ago it was something like 1:133! And they will be hoisted because they have created their own monster. There is a refusal to invest decent money into properly carried out research into ‘alternative natural interventions’ so there never will be any evidenced based research that supports these methods. Their way isn’t working- you can see through the fudged figures that are churned out in support of the holy trinity of Western intervention  (remember my friends there are lies damn lies and statistics) and they have blocked the way for alternative intervention.

But, how lovely to be around medically qualified, highly trained Professors,Doctors and Nurses who know a different way and didn’t look at us as if we were just a couple of nut cutlet munching hippies without a single brain cell between us.

Alistair had been so so sleepy and fatigued for such a long time, he was really sick on the 2nd day of our journey to the clinic and to be honest slept almost entirely for the next 2 days, waking only to have IV’s of various antioxidants, local hyperthermia and magnetic field therapy. He woke when prompted for a few rounds of blood tests and woke to be given his cannabis oil ( yes, got it more or less as soon as we walked into the nurses station and asked for it) and finally he woke albeit grudgingly for an ultrasound to his kidneys. They were worried about his iron levels and considered a transfusion but it crept up minimally so they held off, but, what they didn’t hold off on was his kidney function.

Less than 48 hours after arriving we were sent as a matter of urgency to a local hospital where within30 minutes of arriving Alistair was in theatre to have stents put into both kidneys. Alas, what should have been a 20 minute procedure turned out to be over 2 hours of the surgeon trying to get the stents in place via his urethra, but the prostate was so big from the cancer that even after a resectioning (cutting away) of some of the prostate, nothing was getting through.

The Doctor came to tell me that the operation had not worked and that it was now critical, Alistair was in kidney failure.

They brought him up to the ward for a short while (a room shared with a lovely 85 year old man, everything you could need all provided, sparkling clean and flowers allowed in vases) wired up to drips and catheterised. The Dr’s explained that the only hope we had was for another Dr (turned out to be a Professor) to try to insert the stents intra abdominally using pictures from a CT scan and guiding them in via the image on the TV screen. If this didnt work Alistair would be on dialysis.

To be honest it almost surpassed anything I have ever been through- you can I’m sure imagine without me going over the detail. It was equally distressing for our children, our family and our friends all of them feeling afraid and unable to help so far away.

I know for a fact that back in the UK a tide of prayers, requests to The Universe, Shamanic healing, Angel prayers and all manner of different spiritual networking went on, holding the intention of Alistair’s surgery to be successful and for dialysis to be avoided. And bloody hell, what a relief when they wheeled my beautiful husband, my rock, the person who makes my life truly complete back up on the ward with a stent in each kidney and no longer in kidney failure.

The poor old soul, he now had another 2 bags to add to his collection, the kidney waste was being drained externally from his abdomen, not nice for him, but, one of Alistair’s well used sayings sprang to mind ” In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king”. He wasn’t on dialysis.

I must admit I unravelled a bit after this. I just managed to hold it together on the ward, a lovely Dr found me a hotel to stay in, the ward staff ordered me a cab (can you imagine this in a UK hospital) and I just managed to keep from needing the waaambulance in the taxi. After which the flood gates opened and I broke. Gillian, Candace and my sister Kate metaphorically picked up the pieces for me.

36 hours later and Alistair was back in surgery, thankfully, the Professor who had carried out the abdominal stents was on a mission to help Alistair not be left with external waste bags. And his mission was a success.. no drainage bags, both stents placed via his abdomen using keyhole surgery directly into each kidney. How amazing.

At some point along this hair raising death defying experience Alistair actually hit his rock bottom. He’d had enough. And do you know I couldn’t blame him, not one bit. I prayed and prayed with all my mite to all the sacred things that I believe in and hold dear to me, that my best friend in the whole wide world would get better and be healed. But, sitting quietly in a beautiful garden in the Old Town near to where I was staying (turned out to be the beautiful town of Wetzler) I found the courage to acknowledge if it wasn’t his time to be healed that I would somehow find the grace to honour that.

The makings of a small not fully formed feeling of panic made its home in my solar plexus for the duration of our stay, receding each time I saw Alistair and then as if set by my own watch, returning when I was once again alone.

So, what should have been a 24 hour stay and a relatively simple procedure turned into a 5 day stay and a life saving series of operations. By Monday his blood parameters (showing kidney function) were all good, slightly elevated still but moving in the right direction. So we were discharged back to the clinic.

Treatment continued pronto but, under the guidance of the Professor who runs the cancer clinic we decided to return back home ahead of time in case of any kidney related emergencies. We have to pick up with a new urologist at Adenbrooks and figure out getting these stents changes every three months or so!

We will return to the clinic in Germany once things have stabilised for Alistair but in the meantime we have been referred to one of the Professors colleagues (another German Professor) who runs a clinic in Sussex where we can pick up with many of the treatments we were having in Germany, especially the Hyperthermia.

Its good to be home, to be close to the children and our family (and Archie our dog son) after such a truly frightening time.

And Alistair, Alistair has found himself again, his day of giving up came and went and although he is exhausted and weak he is determined more than ever now to fight, to live, to breathe and to continue to soak up all the love and light this life for him has to offer.

Thank you to all the lights that shone brightly for Alistair in his time of need x





2 responses

4 06 2014
Lara Edwards (@LaraJEdwards)

Oh how I think of and pray for you both. What a traumatic experience and journey, I cannot even fathom. My heart is with you.

5 06 2014
Merrissa Lebetkin

Big Hugs to you both ,thank you for Sharing xxx

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