The girl with the dragon and a tattoo

23 03 2016

I just had a good chuckle to myself as I started to write this as I thought “I wonder if people will think Im crackers as I try to explain where Im at in life right now” and then realised that probably yes and who cares anyway!!

The bewitching and protective charms that surround and overflow at ‘Mynzies’ have been intensified by the addition of Monte, a beautiful slate dragon who sits atop the roof casting his protective gaze up and down the street and bringing his unique dragon energy fairly and squarely into this beautiful and amazing space. How I adore living here.  It is said that a dragon will never reveal his real name to you and whilst waiting to ‘hear‘ his name you refer to him as Mon-Te. Too impatient to wait and lead astray by Candace and Kirt, he was christened Monte immediately. I love that dragon. I feel his energy. A neighbour asked incredulously “Why do you have a dragon on the roof”?. Given the intense feeling he has stirred up in me all I could answer was “Why wouldn’t you?” Not quite sure she could fathom me! Equally unsure I wanted to be fathomed by her!!

To my knowledge, only one of my posts has caused offence and upset, to Alistair actually, and that was of course never my intention. It was during the deepest most desperate part of our journey together when he was nearing the end of his life here on Earth. A Morphine addled brain joined a deeply held insecurity that pre-dated  our union with a disbelief of my unconditional love for him given his needs and physical state. I wrote about the toughness of the demands on me and BOOM.. it went off like a ten bob rocket. As I said, my blog was never ever intended to cause pain but it was always meant to be totally honest, through the good times and the bad.  Thats what makes it unique, loveable and readable I think. A friend stayed for the weekend and dipped into it and said ” Oh my god… its like your heart is holding the pen”. It is.

So please, family and friends, don’t weave a meaning or thread a storyboard together as my story unfolds in this post. Im merely sharing the discoveries with you that I make as my new path unfolds before me.

As I feel myself awaken from a slumber so deep within, a passion for life is uncoiling and presenting itself in all manner of alternative guises that have hitherto gone unexplored. And, I am for the first time ever, really free to embrace life without fear of upsetting anyone. I neither have to check with nor mind anyone else’s feelings. I don’t have to compromise, I don’t have to put my needs, wants and desires to the back of the queue. I don’t have to adjust my responses to avoid upset, Not an applecart in sight!! What a joy.

The spirited enthusiasm for life and abundant energy I find myself with just now makes sense as I have only me to pour my energy into. Over the years my energy has been poured – albeit lovingly- into everything else outside of me. For a long time.

I grew up in a household that thrived on tension and my attention and energy as a child was largely spent making sure everyone around me was happy, in an unconscious bid to lift the tension. My parents decision to ride out their partnership for the sake of the children came with a price attached to it. The stage was set; The giving continued and I poured my heart into my first marriage, my beautiful children, my darling Alistair and his 3 children, our practice, our home, our financial security, my parents as they became infirm and their needs increased and ultimately Alistair’s final journey. None of which I regret, at all, let me be clear about that. My gift to my friends and family is the unconditional love and friendship that I bring and my philosophy is pretty simple, if you give and expect something in return, thats a job, if you give and expect nothing thats Love. Seems a nice way to be to me too. And I am so enjoying being on the receiving end of my unconditional loving and giving to myself. It feels good, I hope it feels this good for my friends who are on the receiving end of it too.

And I shouldn’t be surprised that ‘time for me’ is coinciding with the natural rhythms of my body, as I transition from Mother to Wise Woman ( Crone in proper terms but it conjures up such an unattractive image I feel). Time for my Wild Woman to come out and play!!

All of these momentous turning points in my life I felt had to be marked with something equally momentous and what better than a beautiful Triple Goddess Tattoo beautifully and skilfully inked in hues of purple and pink that, each time my eye catches it, creates a feeling within like Ive come home to myself.

Winds in the east, mist coming in like something is brewing about to begin, can’t put my finger on what lies in store but I feel whats to happen all happened before” P,L, Travers

 

Namaste xx

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