Living With Gladys Full Time

As I write this brief guest spot to Rebekah’s wonderful blog, life is at its toughest and most challenging for this amazingly stalwart and resilient duo. I cannot promise to wax lyrical as well as she does but I wanted to add a further perspective to her followers as she has so little time now.

This most ardent and wholehearted journey is reaching its final conclusion and Alistair is now racked with the physical and emotional consequences of this life leaching disease.

Every day is a massive challenge for Alistair and Rebekah; quality of life has reduced exponentially for both of them. I sit in awe observing their love and strength as they journey this road together. You will have followed, as I, their gusto and research through every possible alternative schema in the madness of ‘what is’ deemed acceptable and unacceptable in cancer  treatments.

Its been a revelation to me as I was partisan to 20 years of the NHS medical model of treatment in my nursing career. I did care very deeply about my patients and I went on to teach thousands of students about what it means to really care and ‘be’ with the patient.

However, I realise I was really just intellectualising the process and whilst I had a big heart, I have watched in recent months how most of the healthcare staff don’t really get it or even give a shit. Not even a flying fuck in some cases and I have seen Alistair bare witness to the most extraordinary lack of care and understanding which has left me feeling ashamed. This doesn’t include the most amazing oncologist, Luke, who has been the Oasis in the desert.

Some of his treatments which were supposed to be helpful, were actually just breaking to the core, resulting in weeks of physical distress and loss of dignity.

Rebekah has turned out to be the very best nurse that I have ‘never’ trained. 24/7 she breaks her back to provide for every emotional and physical request and need, and for this and more I honour and respect her. She is also as mad as a hatter and I love this about her and more. My sister.

Alistair, my darling brother, I am heartbroken to watch his deterioration in body and yet I am in continued awe of his great spiritual greatness and his ability to proliferate sage like advice and guidance to the family. Always thinking of others and guiding us through his painful journey, he has continued to support and adore all of his children and grandchildren.

As we as a family continue on this journey, I ask all of you who read these blogs to think of the attachment that you have with each member of the family and honestly and wholeheartedly ask yourself what you can offer them emotionally in the way of support.

I for one am desperately broken by the forthcoming loss of my darling brother and I know that each and everyone of us feels the same.

This most brilliant man, who has loved and guided so many people through his years of nursing, counselling and healing, needs all of your good wishes, prayers and love sent.

Alistair, my big brother who has watched over me for 44 years, I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Rebekah – you are simply epic and I honour you.