The Widow and The Wolf

9 03 2015

I am truly sorry to anyone who follows my blog and has not yet heard of Alistair’s passing. He slipped peacefully and fully prepared in to the next world in the early hours of Friday 20th February having fought an honourable battle against the curve ball. Detail is not needed, suffice to say he laid down his armoury with grace, bravery and his head held high. His heart full of love, his words full of kindness and his Spirit champing at the bit to fly as high and as free as an Eagle.

In our Western world Death seems to be something to be shied away from, the elephant in the room, something to be terrified of. Something that is not spoken about openly, something that brings only pain and grief.  And, more often than not something that has been too over medicalised, over hospitalised, over professionalised and something that has not escaped the net of capitalism.

In reality though, Death is none of these things, it is simply the renewal of Energy, the continuation of the wheel of life and the weaving of a rich tapestry of threads that, though invisible to the human eye, resonate on every single level of our energy field. Alistair and I embraced this, honoured it and recommitted and reaffirmed our love to and for each other throughout his dying months. We held each other, wept together, commiserated on the things we would not get to do, one last holiday, one final outing in his buggy in to town with Archie, one last cuddle. We also laughed together, a lot. We planned for his transition from this world to his Souls release to a Higher Plane and we prepared me for my life on Earth here without him here physically by my side but remaining joined in our harmonious marriage holding metaphysical hands across the different Planes of the Universe. What an incredible journey for us both.

When his transition from this life to the next came, I can truly say it was an amazing beautiful thing. Our living room was filled with peace, with love, with a deep stillness that still envelopes me today. We had decided together that Alistair would stay here with me for a good few hours after his passing so that I could personally tend to his final earthly needs. What an honour for me to wash away the last hint of his illness, the last suggestion of pain from his battle weary body. It seemed to me to be the most natural thing in the world to do, to lovingly anoint him with his favourite Patchouli Oil from the Krishnas in India and to dress him as he was most comfortable, as in India, a Lungi, a tie dye, his Mala beads and his favoured Hindu Temple scarf.

True to form and staying as real to our beliefs as possible we had planned over the past few months for a gentle slow paced unfolding of the days following his passing. A sacrosanct time for me, gently allowing myself to adapt to this inevitable time in my life. Neither of us wanting me to be caught up in the dreaded hustle and bustle of the early days of loss. More for me to be true to my emotions and depth of feeling at the physical loss of my Soul Partner.

Alistair’s love and the love we had for Alistair was richly celebrated at Our Warriors Farewell at his sisters home on the hottest day of the year so far. Very fitting that Alistair’s A Team (me and Gillian) had our final tribute of work for Alistair together.  A folk band, a bonfire, homemade food, words of love, a dove of peace richly blessed by family and friends. And those who couldn’t be there did there own farewells including the release of a beautiful posy in the Dalyan river. A beautiful celebration of love and light held on the Hindu festival of Holi which celebrates Love Colour and Harmony, such synchronicity must surely be acknowledged.

I realise now that the main players of my blog, started nearly 3 years ago, are no longer here; Gladys awaiting resale having served her purpose honourably and Alistair, free as an Eagle continuing his journey as it was written in the stars.

So that leaves me and our dog, a great big white wolf of a dog who has been loyally by our sides through some of the most difficult times of our lives.

I have met a very strong and capable woman in myself over the past few years, I have coped with a journey that previously I would not have thought myself capable of walking. I hold my head high in honour of my devotion to Alistair and I will not falter now. I gave my word to Alistair that I would not fall apart and that I would cope, my word is my bond.

I have a strong sense of peace deep within me and I look forward to continuing my lifes journey guided by my soul mate and as ever the never failing support of The Universe. I also have the best children, the best family and the best friends. Thank you all for your unfailing support and love for me x





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